Summer, deplorable lack of

It is bloody FREEZING today. I feel quite cheated after the glorious hot weather of last month. It's wet, it's cold and it's very very gloomy. Miserable.

Still, as the annoying bastard on the local radio station said this morning "Well, at least the farmers will be pleased." I'm glad for them. Perhaps they will all go out for a celebratory 15 mph joyride so I can enjoy watching their rear ends for hours. Like yesterday. Although, to be fair, it was very mildly entertaining watching huge fat sparks being kicked up by the giant chains dragging along the road behind the tractor.

You have to take your entertainment where you can find it, round here.

I hate our local radio station. It advertises local firms we already know about, with a rotation of about a dozen adverts so you hear them all at least twice a morning. The only reason we have the radio alarm tuned to it is that our reception for everything else is virtually non-existant.

They run a "feature" called "24 Hour Recall". This consists of the inarticulate, lame-witted DJ and his shrill, self publicising, painfully dull female sidekick having a long discussion about what they both did in the previous 24 hours.

Spoiler: It usually involves watching TV.

Well, cheers. I can get a decent critique of last night's essential viewing by reading the TV review in the on-line Telegraph, without having to tolerate the banal and tiresome "wit" of those two chimps.

It is wearing beyond words. And the REALLY sad thing is that this "feature" gets trailed throughout the show as a big incentive. I wonder if they're both proud of their careers in showbiz. Heh.

We can barely pick up Radio 2 in the kitchen, and not at all upstairs, which is a bit of a blow. Mobile phones can ju-u-u-ust about squeeze out a text message. Eventually. I have had texts arrive anything up to 72 hours after they were sent due to the sporadic and shite nature of the signal. We had to cave in and buy a satellite dish just to pick up terrestrial TV - before that we couldn't get BBC 2 or Channel 4 very well, and Channel 5 was nowhere to be seen.

Still, we now get access to all the free channels (I like BBC 3 and 4 especially) and also tons of radio (Kerrang for example) which can be entertaining. The only downside is that you have to listen to them via the TV system, so you can't really hear them in the kitchen.

A neighbour brought round a DAB radio a while ago for us to try as she was delighted with the service, and we were keen to get it too. I set up up in the kitchen and watched the "strength" meter thingy climb to a splendid 12. I was very pleased until my neighbour pointed out that her signal strength is between 90 and 99. Arse. She only lives a few hundred yards away but it seems we are in a "shadow". All very Lord of the Rings. The other side of the road, a simpler time.

Which reminds me of when my middle sis moved in with her boyfriend (now husband, morality police). He didn't have a TV, and after a year or so Sis decided that she would get a small TV and video all-in-one thing, so she could watch films whilst doing the ironing. (Top household tip - The Birdcage is a great choice).

So she got a little TV and video, then wandered up to the local video rental place to register. She filled in all the forms, got her card and was about to leave when the chap behind the counter said "Just moved into the area?"

"No" she replied. "Just moved into the 20th century." Heh.