Back...

...from my hollerdays.

Which, to be fair, were rather strange. CenterParcs is now full of chavs, it appears, and thus has lost even the frail and shallow pretence it used to have that it was NOT a holiday camp.

It so is.

They've added dozens of new villas (NOT chalets!) to the place, and increased the number of customers who can stay there, but the actual footprint is the same, and the facilities are still about the same size too. So what you get is more people crammed into a finite space, all trying to use the same facilities at pretty much the same time.

That in itself wasn't too big a deal because we had booked one of the top of the range villas which has a decent amount of accommodation, a hot tub on the patio, and a sauna and steam room. There was also a half decent CD player and TV and DVD player so we were kept amused while we were there.

And I took my guitar so was able to get a load of practice in, as well as play some songs for the girls to sing. I don't think any record company executives who happened to be in the area will be scouring the woods for us, somehow.

I got bollocked! Yes I did!

We all went to the Spa place on Monday night for a session. You pay about 30 quid or something and get 3 hours where you can use all the various spa facilities, turkish baths, saunas, relaxation rooms, all that malarky. Anyway, my mate Sally and I were sitting in the "Reflexology footbath" bit in the middle, along with a couple of other ladies, all of us chatting companionably.

Much to my astonishment, a middle-aged bloke suddenly came right up to me, leaned in and said nastily "Any chance you "ladies" could keep it down? All we can hear is you talking over the noise of the baths." And yes, he did say "ladies" in inverted commas.

I was taken aback, not least because he invaded my personal space (which is iffy if you're in a funky and revealing swimsuit), so I went all British and said "Oh, sorry." He glared at me and stormed off.

The other two ladies who were sat there looked astounded and said "We couldn't hear you!" and we had a short "What the fuck was that all about" kind of conversation, till lo and behold, back he came, still glaring.

"Is there a problem with keeping it down?" he asked, before storming off like a sad old drama queen.

Git.

Now I was quite upset by this, not least because I have a soft, well-modulated voice which all men love to hear (well, I think so, anyway).

One of the other girls came up with a great riposte, much later on, back at the villa, over several glasses of wine. We should have said "No. Is there a problem with keeping it up?" to him.

Bugger.

I also really really missed male company. Obviously the adorable Mr WithaY was pined for night and day, but I also missed just chatting to blokes. I love my girly mates dearly but by Wednesday I was starting to get selective pitch deafness...anything that got too shrill was filtered out and ignored. Heh.

So. Am back. And yeah - the "Pay as you Go" internet machines at CenterParcs blocked my access to my blog because it is apparently a site with a high porn content. I am obviously missing out there big time.