Pub night

Went over to the village pub last night after feeding Mr WithaY a truly delicious supper (I AM a domestic goddess after all, I just need a muse). It was a truly hilarious evening.

Billy the squaddie was in, who is always huge value for money. He and his mate were discussing whether or not to go into "town" (and I use the term reluctantly) or to bin it and stay in. They were trying to decide whether it might be worth going out on the pull or just having a "blokes night in".

The definition of a blokes night in is apparently "Pot Noodle and wanking". I almost snorted gin out of my nose at that one.

There were some unseemly challenges being made around closing time. One of them involved Billy the squaddie giving a kiss to one of the local lads. He is a nice enough lad but not doing too well with the ladies, it seems. Billy obviously thought he'd found a way to help him "get to know" girls a it better.

He then challenged one of the gorgeous bar birds to then kiss said local lad as well, once Billy had finished with him.

"If I can do it, you can do it" he claimed.

She watched the whole "bloke on bloke" scene in horror, realising she was going to have to kiss the poor guy as well.

She stood by her word and kissed him, but then rather ruined the effect by rushing over to the fireplace and spitting in it (classy pub, our local). Billy told her that the kiss had not been nearly enthusiastic enough, so she came back and gave the poor lad another one. She fled the scene afterwards, coming back sucking greedily on a fag (cigarette, panicking American readers).

Mr WithaY kept his word and brought me back some Arbroath Smokies. Fish. Not just any fish, but stinky fish. Tied up with string. I imagine his luggage filled the hold of the aircraft with an unholy stink. Heh. Let's hope so anyway.

I wish I had been less insistent as a young woman that he was NOT to buy me jewellery (I had huge scruples about being bought stuff - what a fool!). All that has happened is his gift-giving urges have been transferred into the "odd foodstuff" arena rather than the "expensive bauble" arena.

Damn.