Been a bit under the weather one way another for a few days, and realised that I was getting a bit low. So. What to do?
I did a few things.
Firstly, had a long chat with the lovely Mr WithaY, which helped.
Did a few long-neglected domestic tasks which means I now go "Ooh that looks nice" rather than "ugh, I really need to get on and clean/repair/iron/dust that".
I also (and this was my favourite) got around to using the box of words my Mum gave me as a present ages back. It's one of those kits with a load of magnetised words to stick on the fridge. Or in my case, on the metal noticeboard in my sewing room*. It is the "Erotic Poetry" kit.
There are some very interesting words in the box.
You can get other ones. I have also seen a Shakespearean Words version.
Anyhoo. I spent a pleasant few minutes finding all the most positive words and putting them in the middle of the board. Words like Laugh, Sing, Write, Eat, Drink, Love, Friends, Family, Travel, Learn, Read, Joy.
All good stuff. And now, if I feel a bit grumpy, I take a few minutes to look at them and remember what life is about. A small thing, but I am finding it helpful.
It is also amusing to make up sentences with some of the other words. Heh.
I also decided to do a Meme.
The back story: A long time ago I was on a training course and one of the things we had to do was write a list of all the things we were most proud of about ourselves.
I managed two items.
Everyone else in the room was writing and writing, and I sat there with my short list, feeling more wobbly and inadequate with every passing moment.
When we shared some of our lists, I was astounded by what the others had written. One lady had put "Cooked a 4 course meal for 8 people." Someone else had said "Gave a presentation at work to a large group." Someone else said "Gave the Best Man speech at a wedding." And so on.
Not that they weren't achievements, but it never occurred to me that stuff like that was worth recording.
My list was "got degree" and "passed driving test". Both things are about external approval and validation. Not about me recognising good things in myself. It was a real shock to realise that I didn't see that a lot of what I can do is good, or worthwhile, or valid, even without a certificate saying so.
So. I decided to do a Meme on here.
It is a list of 7 Positive Things About Your Life.
1) I have a lovely family. Mr WithaY really does make life worth living sometimes. My sisters (and partners) and Mum are all lovely, kind, funny, caring people. The nieces and nephews are all cheerful, bright, entertaining, well-mannered and healthy. And we all love each other to bits. I know that if I needed them to, any one of them would drop everything and come to help.
2) I have some wonderful friends. Some of them I hardly ever see because life is unpredictable and everyone is busy, but I know they love me, and I do them. We are also so lucky to have such lovely neighbours and friends in the village. It has changed my life immeasurably, having so many kind, funny, geneorous people sharing their lives with me.
3) I live in one of the most beautiful places in the country. Really. It is gorgeous. I can sit in my sewing room and look out at an area of Outstanding Natural Beauty** which would lift anyone's spirits. Plus, if I want to, I can watch people coming and going at the shop and the pub, which is interesting.
4) I can sing. It took me a bloody long time to even be able to say that. But I can. And I'm pretty good at it.
5) I am becoming a half decent guitarist. Which is fab. See item 4. And I adore my Les Paul. Although, I tried a 12-string Rickenbacker semi in a music shop in Cardiff and fell hopelessly in love. Am saving up.
6) This blog. I thoroughly enjoy writing it. It acts as a sort of diary for me, and has introduced me to some great people as well. I started doing it for my own amusement on MySpace almost a year ago, and it has evolved into something which I am now very fond of. And rather proud of. It isn't saying anything clever, or making any great insights, but I love that people read it, and tell me they enjoy it.
7) I make people laugh. And it has taken me the best part of my life to realise that it is a valuable gift. I laugh at my own jokes because, hell, I make myslef laugh too. No bad thing, surely?
John at Cognitive Malfunction
*Why I still call it a sewing room when it is at least 3 years since I did any proper sewing, I don't know. Should be the Guitar playing/Working/Frittering away life on the Internet Room.
**and a petrol station. Heh.