I generally delete these emails without a second glance, but the subject heading of this one had thoughtfully included "This is not Spam" so I had to check it out.
Just as well. Poor man is in desperate trouble.
I will be wiring him all my bank, credit card, address and next of kin details in the next few minutes.
FROM: MR.WILLIAM MUYEKE
DESK OF CHAIRMAN
Sub-Committee on Finance
South African World Cup bid 2010
24 Steven Bikko Blvrd Pretoria,
Republic Of South Africa.
Tel : +27-72-587-0437
Greetings you must be aware now that my country The Republic of South Africa won the bid to host the world cup by 2010,prior to this bid my committee was mandated to lobby the members of board of Federation International Football Association (FIFA) on selection of the country to host the world, the bidding was intensive but at the end we got the hosting right.
My committee was given the sum of $29 million dollars to lobby the members of the FIFA ruling body to make sure that we win the hosting right considering the gain that comes with the hosting right like South Africa's economy will receive a massive direct boost from hosting the 2010 World Cup, financial impact report for South Africa's World Cup bid committee shows that the 2010 World Cup will pump R21.3-billion into South Africa's economy, and creating an estimated 159 000 new jobs.
With the help the living legend of our time 87-year-old Nobel Peace Prize winner Dr.Nelson Mandela who made an emotive case for The Republic of South Africa, we got the bid without spending all the money, I and my committee members saw this as a God sent opportunity to secure our future and that of our family therefore was mandated by other committee members to look for a way to move the remaining money to a safe place with the help of a foreigner who we can trust and is ready to assist us to move the funds considering the fact that we are still members of the bid committee and in the eyes of the public.
we have in our possession the sum $21millon since we spent just $8million for lobbying. We are ready to give you 20% for all your assistance then me and my colleagues will keep 80% lf you are willing kindly reply to my letter for further directive. we will want to invest our share into Real-estate and air taxi business in your country with your assistance,bearing in mind that confidentiality is of great essences so is time in this project I will await your response.
All responses should be sent to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Just a few issues, really.
1) I am a Madam, not a Sir.
2) If I contact "living legend" Nelson Madela, he'll be vouching for you, will he?
3) Not sure what the market for "air taxis*" is in the UK. You might like to do a bit more sector research on that one.
4) A touch confused...are you actually the desk of the chairman? And if so, how did you send this email? Does the desk have an integrated IT system or what? Please explain, with diagrams.
5) Um...so you raised all this money to try and win the World Cup Bid, and did so on the grounds that it will be good for the economy...and are now going to steal the leftover money because you didn't spend it during the lobbying process? Is that right?
On second thoughts, they can fuck right off. Thieving lying bastards.
*Unless an air taxi is like an air guitar, and you mime being driven around at breakneck speed while a guy cranes his head backwards to tell you what he thinks about Issues Of The Day.