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All the cool kids did it ages ago, but in my own traditional "better late than never" stylee I have lumbered aboard the retreating bandwagon.

 

I joined Twitter.

 

If you want to check it out (and I have no idea if I have even set it up so anyone else can see my profile, or whatever it is, sorry), I am there as livesbythewoods.  Yay me. 

 

Look, here:  http://twitter.com/livesbythewoods

 

So far, I am stalking Simon Pegg.  Not because I have any particular reason to, but his was a name I recognised, so I clicked on it in desperation.  It's a bit like Freshers Week, where you latch onto people so you aren't the only one with no mates, and then spend the rest of the year shaking them off again. 

 

I will see how long it takes for the novelty to wear off.

 

What else have I been up to, other than finding more ways to waste my few remaining years online?

 

Yesterday Mr WithaY and I went to Salisbury, the first such visit since (I think) late October last year.  We picked up the jewellery that Goldsmith's have been repairing and restoring.  Mr WithaY had to have his wedding ring made bigger, as since his accident last year he can't get it onto what remains of his ring finger on his left hand.  (Dan, don't read that post again, you know it made you go wobbly last time.)

 

I had a gorgeous diamond ring in for renovation and resizing, that Father-in-law WithaY gave me last year.  It belonged to his mother, and is stunning.  And now it fits me, and is all clean and sparkly, and looks completely fantastic. 

 

I was hoping to have had it back in time to wear to the drinks parties and things we were invited to over the festive season, but it was not to be.  When I took it in (in October) they said it would take about 6 weeks.  Back in time for Christmas, in fact.  Excellent.  Mr WithaY got a phone call a couple of weeks later saying that his wedding ring was ready, and we decided to put off collecting it till my ring was done too.  Save an extra 25 mile drive to the Big City.  We're all about the environment in this house.*

 

I waited a few more weeks, Christmas came and went in a haze of coughing, antibiotics and terrifying breathing problems, and my ring was put to the back of the "things to think about" shelf in my head. 

 

A couple of weeks ago I rang the jeweller to ask when my ring would be ready, it having been with them for more than 8 weeks by then.

 

"Oh! We haven't sent it to the repairer yet," they told me.

 

I asked them why not, given that they had said it woild take 6 weeks to fix, and they'd already had a lot more than that.

 

"We never received your written confirmation to proceed," they explained. 

 

Wait just a minute...they phoned me a week after I brought the ring to the shop, and told me how long it would take to fix, and how much it would cost, and I said "Ok, yes, go for it."  But that wasn't sufficient, apparently.  No.  They sent me a letter (which never arrived, oddly) which I was supposed to sign and send back.  As I never received it, I never sent it back.

 

Instead of then calling me to check why I hadn't returned their letter, they just sat on my ring (so to speak) and let several weeks drift by.  I assume that if I hadn't chased them about it, they would just have kept hold of my ring (so to speak) indefinitely.

 

Gah.

 

Sadly, I have to wear it on these hideous hands.  This is my incredible turkey-carving scar.  Healing up nicely, as you can see.  And admire the lovely dehydrated wrinkled skin too, it's incredible what gastroenteritis can do to you.

 

 

 

I plan to tell anyone who asks that it is a duelling scar from my days in the Prussian Army.  In 1875.

 

Talking of letters not arriving, we are still waiting for a very important and official letter from Wiltshire's finest, which they promised me in October, told me they had sent out in mid December (registered post, no less), asked me to chase up at our local sorting office (which I did, they'd never seen it) and then promised to hand deliver two weeks ago.

 

 

No sign of it yet.

 

No fucking wonder people don't feel safe on the streets when even a basic admin task like getting a letter from A to B seems to be beyond them.

 

Anyhoo.  Deep breath.  I can do that now my lungs are working properly, what a nice change.

 

Let's think of something lovely.  Kittens.  Chocolate. 

 

How about kittens AND chocolate all in the same package?

 

 

It's a box of chocolates with kittens on it. Could it be any sweeter?  In fact, the chocolates were rather nasty, but the box is a work of art.  Here's a closer view of those little kittens. 

 

 

 

Amazing.  It was like the box designer was channelling the spirit of Barbara Cartland, but with less pink.

 

Also, today I made a cake.  I am definitely feeling more like my old self.

 

 

 

Mr WithaY asked me what the green stuff on the icing was.  "Celery," I told him.  He wasn't sure if I was telling the truth or not**.

 

Look, it has layers!  I've never made a cake with layers before.  Jam and everything.

Other excitements over the weekend.  We went to the health food shop and I bought a huge stack of various supplements to help me get back to full fighting strength:

 

• Echinachea - boosts your immune system, I have to take it 3 - 6 times a day. 

• Cod liver oil with garlic - boosts your immune system and wards off vampires.  One a day. Before sunset.

• Hemp oil - boosts your...um...heart, or maybe skin.  The girls in the shop were a bit vague about it but I liked the sound of it.  One a day.

• Valerian - helps you sleep, one a day, before bed.  Presumably it's to make sure you don't wake up to fend off the vampires when the garlic capsules fail. 

 

I'm also taking Actimel every morning which is (presumably) doing me some good. 

 

I expect to develop superpowers by April.

 

And back to London tomorrow for work.  It feels like ages since I was last there.  Well, it is.  December the 10th was the last time I went into the office, so it will be a bit weird having to get back into the meat grinder commuting routine again.

 

Steve Wright was talking about ways to meet a new partner on his radio show this morning.  Apparently you should look around at the other passengers on the train on your commute, and consider whether they are likely to be potential partner material.  I will have to have a good gawp tomorrow and see what I can see. 

 

I'm not getting my hopes up. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*No we aren't. 

 

**It's angelica.  But it looks a lot like celery.