Friday 6 June 2008

Lies in the Press

I found this little snippet in today's Telegraph. Says that Lymington in Hampshire is one of the best places to live, ever.

Lies.

I went to Lymington once with a couple of mates, on a dull rainy Saturday when we all had monster hangovers. So bad in fact that one of said friends literally fell out of the car as we pulled up in the car park and had to run to the nearest toilets to be very very sick.

Not good.

We walked around in the gloom and drizzle for a bit, groaning and falling into each other, and then thought a nice cup of tea would help us recover. We went into a tea shop, or more likely a Tea Shoppe, on the high street, took a table and waited.

And waited. And fucking waited.

We sat there for over an hour, vainly trying to catch the attention of someone, anyone, who could bring us some tea. And a bun maybe.

Eventually, after we'd dried off and read all their papers, we left, tealess and grumpy.

I think the staff either thought we'd do a runner after we'd had all their tea and buns, or that we might turn nasty if we got some sugar into us.

Bastards.

So. Lymington. No.

4 comments:

Verdant Earl said...

Ye Olde Tea Shoppe sounds like a few places in my neighboring towns.

Stuffy, pretentious and not worth it.

Jon said...

There's no scope for fucking around when it comes to getting a post-drinking-session cup of tea.

I would have burned the place to the ground.

livesbythewoods said...

Earl, it was dry and warm and had tea and buns in it. For tea and buns that day I would have sat in Atilla the Hun's front room politely.

Jon, you are so right. Maybe I should go back and do it now.

Anonymous said...

I loved Lymington, reminds me of trips down there when a very good mate had a small yacht and would try and dodge the Lyminton-Yarmouth ferry. We didn't call those days out on his boat 'cowboy cruises' for nothing. Another trip we came back to the boat only to find the tide had gone out in the meantime and his boat was lying on it's side in the mud. Oops - supposed to be back in London the for work the next morning. Went to the yacht club to ask for help and advice and started with the words 'We're from London..' with the reply from the locals 'we know!'. To me it was a beautiful part of the country where one could really and truly switch off from daily worries. Mind you there was always more immediate worries that became more important!