I am now a stabbing statistic.
Admittedly, by my own hand. Indeed, through my own hand. Don't hands bleed a lot? Hurts like, well, like something that has had a big knife stuck in it.
How did it happen?
Obviously through my own carelessness and stupidity. I was taking the stone out of an avocado (if you've ever had a near miss doing this, I bet you're wincing already) and was stupidly holding the half an avocado in my left hand as I stuck the tip of a huge fuck-off kitchen knife into the stone with my right hand.
And of course, the knife slipped. Who'd have thought that could happen, on a slippery, round, hard avocado stone? *tch*
The tip of the huge, pointy, sharp knife, stuck straight into the fleshy part of my hand, just above the thumb, and made quite a neat, deep hole. Which bled. And bled. And bled some more.
It has now stopped bleeding (cold water, pressure, elevation, the Girl Guides were good for something after all) and now has a large plaster stuck over it.
Hope I can drive tomorrow without bleeding again.
What an idiot.