Thursday, 17 January 2008

Apt graffiti

On my way back from London today I saw two pieces of graffiti which seemed apt.

The first was "trains are wank". Simple, direct, undeniably appealing.

The other was "First is shit" which I assume refers to First Great Western, rather than First Class.

Unless it was a particularly grumpy First Class season ticket holder who'd had enough of it all.

The trip up was fine, really. It didn't rain, so we could walk from Waterloo to the office without getting soaked, we had two very constructive meetings, and we also had excellent Marks and Spencer sandwiches for lunch (pre-planning, always pays off).

It was the trip home that caused the problems.

I go to Salisbury, went looking for my train and realized with dismay and horror that I had a 50 minute wait. In the cold, in the rain (yes, thanks Weather Gods, you bastards). I think a small wail of dismay was emitted.

My hands were so cold I couldn't do the crossword, and I just sat on a bench on the platform, shivering and wishing I was dead. Or at home. Probably wishing I was at home, really, now I think about it.

So. Finally got the train, and was so chilled that I think the woman I was sat next to thought I had malaria.

Fucking trains.

Other news: Tried the Marks and Spencer berry flavour chewing gum. Not like gum at all really, more like chewy cough medicine. And yes, I wrap it and bin it when I finish with it, rather than spit it onto the street like an oaf.

5 comments:

tpe said...

Phew. Thank goodness you wrap and bin your chewing gum. The people who spit their gum onto the street need harmed, you know, really quite roughly. Mind you, I'm not entirely sure what you were doing chewing such stuff in the first place - there is simply no way to look good whilst doing such a thing. (I'm relentlessly shallow, so this matters, k? K.)

Anyway, that's not why I'm here. No. This is: "Trains are wank". Beautiful. What a gorgeous piece of graffiti.

Kind regards etc...

TPE

livesbythewoods said...

TPE, hello, thanks for popping by.

Yes, it's a thing of beauty as graffiti goes, isn't it?

Gum. Yes, I know chewing it makes me look like a chavvy halfwit, but it is counteracted by the new "terrifically brainy" specs, so I think I get away with it.

For now, at least.

tpe said...

You see, this is how it starts, though. An increasing number of people (63%) are using fancy new specs as both an excuse and a cover for criminal activity. It's true. They feel that because they look respectable and brainy and cool, they are somehow immune to the criminal impulse.

Sure, you're maybe just chewing on gum at the moment, Lucy, but it hardly takes a giant leap of the imagination to picture you holding up an off-licence with a hunting gun and small, bloodstained, rubber bludgeon.

Chewing gum leads to greater crimes, often involving firearms - this is just a fact - and you need to start saying "no". Specs or no specs, you seem destined to do bird.

Something for you to think about, I'd say.

Worried,

TPE

livesbythewoods said...

Gosh, I'd never thought about it like that.

Well, maybe I can do a few blags and then hide out somewhere sunny till the law catches up with me.

I'll send postcards. No stamps, obviously, in keeping with my nefarious lifestyle.

tpe said...

A sensible solution. This definitely seems like the way forward, blogger, and you are to be commended for your common sense approach. Well done.

Relieved and (mildly) happy,

TPE