There was a great story on the radio today. People were sending in tales of how they had cooked meals anyway, after discovering they had run out of a key ingredient. Using salted peanuts in a chilli when they found they had no salt, that kind of thing.
Someone sent in a tale of how they were making a lovely stew. Mmmmm stew.
They made the stew, and then prepared to make the dumplings. But oh no! No suet! And we all know a stew isn't a stew without the delicious suety goodness of dumplings. What to do?
Apparently the hapless chef looked out of the window at the bird table, and had a dreadful, dreadful idea.
He ran outside, grabbed the block of birdfood suet and brought it into the kitchen. He shaved off the "dirty bits", then grated up the remainder to make dumplings. And only told his wife what he'd done several days later, when it was all eaten up.