Saturday, 13 November 2010

Lexicon of the Weird

In the absence of anything unusually hilarious happening to me lately, here are some more results from the word search thingy that people use to stumble upon my blog:

1)  emma stone.  I have no idea who emma stone is, or why she doesn't get capital letters for her name.  Is she a relation of e.e. cummings?  More to the point, how did they get to my blog by typing in her name?  Very strange. 

2)  foot, leg, and ankle swelling   I'm guessing my blog is now a magnet for sprain pervs, and possibly also people who like to see freak show horrors.  I imagine there is a whole market segment dedicated to spraining injuries, possibly with its own glossy magazine that comes out once a quarter, with a section for Readers' Sprains at the back, just in front of the adverts for crutches and padded ankle supports.  Brrrrr.  It's slightly disturbing that the single most viewed image on my blog - the window, if you will, into my whole life and innermost psyche - is of my revolting, swollen, sprained ankle.    I might have to grow a beard, or develop a second head to maintain the carney-like ambience once the ankle novelty wears off.  Sickos.  Yeah, you.

3)  rick leek quarter horsesshow lucy artiscally obvious lucy  Say WHAT?  Whoever typed this into their search engine has a lot on their mind.  Leeks?  Horses?  Slightly agricultural, so I can understand why it ended up here.  Repeated mention of my name?  Irritating, but again, can see the link.  "Artiscally obvious" has me stumped, I admit.  Do they mean "Artistically obvious"?  Which is slightly hurtful, and implies that my fabulous attempts at mixed media art are not nearly as original as I imagine, dammit.  And who is "rick"?

4)  the oinkmaster pig roast  Aha.  Ahahahahahaaaaa.  Yes indeed.  The Oinkmaster Pig Roast.  I remember it well.  I think, reader, that it was in fact the Oinkmaster 3000, to be exact.  No wonder you ended up here, you're not being specific enough, you muppet. 

In other news:  The Black Lung seems to be making an early appearance, giving me plenty of time to prepare for the annual Christmas chest infection-fest.  Yay. 


Isabella Golightly said...

This potato-headed yokel googled Emma Stone & discovered she is in fact "a sober Lindsay Lohan". This fact immediately made me think of you. Not.

Middle Sis said...

I am a great follower of rock stars named after vegetables attending four equine events per year.

livesbythewoods said...

Isabella - damm, you've outed me!

Middle Sis, now you say that, it all makes sense!