Inertia and other matters

The weather's turned.  Turned to SHIT. 

We had the sunniest weekend - possibly ever - this weekend just gone and how did I spend much of it?  Why, lounging idly on the sofa with the curtains closed, drinking tea and watching my new DVD set of The Big Bang Theory.  I have a wholly inappropriate, probably immoral, and certainly ill-advised, crush on Leonard. 

One of the many things I love* about that programme is the fact that I feel as though I am learning about Science as I watch.  All those years of sitting in double physics at school, praying for the fire alarm to go off, or a mysterious stranger to burst in through the door and carry me away, or a runaway horse to gallop into the corridor, or, well, anything that wasn't double physics, really, wasted.

Wasted. 

I have learned more about mass, energy, time and space via an American comedy show than I did whilst studying for my failed physics O level. 

Failed?  Oh yes.  Actually, not so much "failed" as "crashed, then exploded, then crumbled into dust."   I'm not good at listening to stuff I don't find engaging, and lordy, I was even worse at it back then when I was 17.  I used to read all the notes diligently, but in lessons my brain shut down and went skipping off o'er the hills and far away while poor Mr Andrews (I think) tried to get me to learn about Van der Graaf generators** or inertia or gravity or resistance, or whatever tedious nonsense was on that day's agenda.

It was the same in maths lessons, as I have mentioned a few times in here previously.  I would TRY to listen, but my brain just refused.  If I ever seemed likely to actually absorb any mathematical knowledge, I'd get an agonising cluster headache to distract me before I could consolidate the knowledge into something helpful. 

I must be the only person who was actually employed by the Civil Service with no Maths O Level.  Shocking.  And they gave me a billion pound contract to manage for a bit.  Fools. 

Anyhoo.  I've been thinking about my days at school a fair bit lately, probably because the gym I go to is next to the local secondary school and if I time my morning visit wrong I drive past all the kids making their way there, gloomily dragging their feet, scrapping with each other, or walking along with their eyes locked immovably to their mobile phones. 

People tend to trot out that weary axiom about your schooldays being the happiest of your life when the subject comes up. Readers, I disagree. 

I was much happier when I was at college, reading books all day, working in a pub in the evenings, spending hours and hours in the college library reading Victorian copies of Punch magazine for research purposes***.  I was happier when I started working full-time too, earning money, feeling like a real grown-up, living on my own in my teeny little flat. 

School always felt like something to be got through to allow you to progress to the good stuff. 

So. The good stuff in my life at the moment:

We are planting a few more trees in the garden, inspired by the success of the crabapple.  This morning we planted a Victoria plum and a cherry tree in the front garden. I hope they thrive, and that in a year or two I can start harvesting their fruit. 

My guitar playing has stepped up a notch (Bam! ****) and I am learning to play what my guitar teacher kindly refers to as "solos" but which are really just scales with ideas above their station.  It's all rather fab though, and I love it. 

The new song I am focussing on learning this week is the embarrassingly cheesy duet between Tim McGraw and (I'm sorry, but it's true) Gwyneth Paltrow "Me and Tennessee."  Yes, I know.  I know. 

I like it.  There. I said it.

I'm making some funky fabric-y stuff, specifically cushion covers this week.  I'm discovering that I am quite good at it, too.  Bam!

Oh, and I am going to brave Salisbury and go to the posh scary hairdresser this week.  I am off to a wedding in a few weeks and my hair has suddenly reverted to "woman living in the country with no mirrors in the house" so urgent remedial action is needed.

It's all good, dawg. 





*apart from Leonard

**The experimental apparatus, not the band

***Honestly.  I did my dissertation on fairy stories and their reflected influence on Victorian novels, and how it all related to society in the Victorian era.  Utterly pointless, but I loved doing it.  It was a very fashionable subject in the 1980s, darlings. 

****copyright  Elzar and his spice weasel.

Hair! Again!

Sorry if you aren't remotely interested in hair.  On the bright side, I only go to the hairdresser about 3 times a year, so it isn't very often you have to put up with this.

Ta-daa!  Check out the new do:

I could have just posted the photo without the highly professional editing to conceal my secret identity, but it amuses me to look like a middle-aged ninja, so it stays like this.  Mr WithaY suggested I add some huge bug eyes as well.  He thinks he's funny.   

The charming girl at the hairdresser has chopped off loads of the skanky bits at the ends, layered it so it is all bouncy and wavy again, and given me a bit of a fringe to stop me getting too bored with it.  I am very pleased.  Also, (and this is why she gets a tip) she said I have no need to colour it as it has barely any grey, and that it looks lovely.  So hurrah.

I went to the music shop in Salisbury as I want to get the tab book for Alice in Chains "Black Gives Way To Blue" but no luck.  To be fair, I don't even know if the book exists, I just assumed it did.  I heard "Your Decision" on the TV a few nights ago, used my mighty iPhone to Shazam it so I knew what it was, and then downloaded the album on iTunes.  All while sitting watching CSI.  I love technology, I get to  pretend I am on the USS Enterprise when I do stuff like that. 

I found the chords online but am not convinced they are correct, as it sounds rather odd.  Plus the timing is a bugger, as soon as I try to sing AND play it at the same time it all goes horribly wrong. 

I still sound like I have a cold, even though I don't, so my singing is nowhere near the way it should be.  I wonder if I have some sort of yukky low-grade sinus infection or something left over from the Black Lung outbreak. 

If I am still sounding bunged-up by the end of the week I might ask the doctor what he suggests.  He may well suggest that I go away and stop bothering him, of course. 

Mr WithaY has had a cold for almost a week, but is on the mend now. He celebrated by cleaning out the fishtank this morning.  The soundtrack for this diligent activity was very loud trance music.  Apparently the fish like it.  It just made me think of Father Fintan Stack from Father Ted.

"I've had my fun and that's all that matters."  One of the best lines in comedy ever.

Tagged! So excited!

Heh, I feel special now. Right, this is the iPod shuffle tag....here goes.

1) If someone says, "Is this okay?", you say: "The Right Thing" MacAlmont and Butler. Awww, that is rather sweet.

2) What would best describe your personality? "Prickly Thorn (but sweetly worn)" The White Stripes. Ouch. Yep, I can see some heads nodding at the back there.

3) What do you like in a guy/girl? "King of Emotion" Big Country. Um, no, no drama queens ta.

4) How do you feel today? "Lay Low" Alisha's Attic. Kinda apt. Heh.

5) What is your life's purpose? "No Surprises" Radiohead. God, I am such a Civil Servant. Dull, dull, dull.

6) What is your motto? "Black Night" Deep Purple. Does the fact that it's live make a difference? Just a teeny bit confused by this.

7) What do your friends think of you? "Closing Time" Semisonic. Perfect. One of my favourite songs to play and sing, and most of my mates have had to listen to me perform it at least once. Hurrah.

8) What do you think of your parents? "What I always Wanted" Kittie. Hm, interesting. Well, my Mum is completely fab, and I couldn't ask for a better one. And yes, I think I would have liked to have got to know my Dad. In fact, the thing I wished for a lot as a child was "I wish Dad would get better". So yeah. Apt.

9) What do you think about very often? "Icky Thump" The White Stripes. Your guess is as good as mine. Mental.

10) What is 2 + 2? "Motivation" Sum41. Hmm, am I totally financially motivated? Or just driven by the memory of being shit at maths at school? Lack of focus? Inability to add up? Who knows? Ooh! A squirrel!

11) What do you think of your best friend? "Transylvania" Iron Maiden. Heh, brilliant. Hello bestest mate.

12) What do you think of the person you like? "Shot by Both Sides" Magazine. Oh lordy. Yes, we have shot each other more than once. This is a bit scary now.

13) What is your life story? "Look Away" Big Country. Yep, lack of attention at key points, gawping into space, missing stuff....sounds like my life right enough.

14) What do you want to be when you grow up? "Laugh Out Loud" Robert Cray Band. Excellent. I wanted to be a writer. Or a journalist. But a comedy personage would do nicely, ta.

15) What do you think when you see the person you like? "Letterbomb" Green Day. Now, is this because they are potentially a deranged terrorist? Or maybe I am? Or perhaps its just too close to Christmas. All that extra post.

16) What do your parents think of you? "Desire" U2. Awwww. I know my Mum loves me. More than my sisters. (Hello sisters. Get your own blogs if you wish to argue. Heh.)

17) What will you dance to at your wedding? "I've Been Thinking About You" Londonbeat. What a great song. And yes, I suppose we were thinking about each other a lot on our wedding day. No dancing though...too extravagent and heathen by far.

18) What will they play at your funeral? "Nine Hundred Miles" Show of Hands. Wow. A superb blues-y track. And another one I like to sing. Perfect.

19) What is your hobby/interest? "Been Caught Stealing" Jane's Addiction. Hm. Well, I am not a professional thief, I suppose.

20) What is your biggest secret? "Deaf Forever" Motorhead. This made me laugh out loud. Explains my cloth-eared guitar playing, at least.

21) What do you think of your friends? "It's OK" Fine Young Cannibals. No, better than just ok, surely?

22) What should you post this as? "Good Thing" Fine Young Cannibals again. Not sure what this question actually means, but the answer works.

More Top Lists (I like doing these)

At home, still feeling poorly. Gah. My optimism at the weekend was premature. I think I slept for about an hour last night, which was tiresome.

Anyhoo, I was thinking about music which cheers me up (seemed appropriate today). So, some top songs which make me feel better when I am sad:

The Smiths "What Difference Does It Make" - how can anyone not join in with the fantastic wail-along at the end?

James "Laid" See above

Proclaimers "Sunshine on Leith" What a great song.

Whitesnake "Child of Babylon" Not an especially happy song, but I can sing the shit out of it. Which cheers me up.

Show of Hands "I'll Put a Stake Through His Heart" A superb revenge song.

Anyway. I think it's time I had a nap so I can at least attempt to wake up in time for work tomorrow. Assuming they want me back.