Friday, 12 February 2010

Eye, eye, eye

I think my blog is being stalked by a semi-literate optician.  First they posted a comment, calling themselves "Opticians Eye Test":
Eye exams are not designed to supersede contact lenses or eyeglasses. This exam is designed to monitor on your vision. It's something that people normally overlook but it should be considered seriously by every individual who care about their vision.

Thanks for sharing..

I particularly like the "thanks for sharing" at the end there.  I use that expression a lot when I am being sarcastic. I wonder if they are too. 

I am certainly an individual who care about my vision.  Even more so, now I have a weird optician telling me off about it.  I am also an individual who care about grammar. 

Anyhoo, a few weeks later they added another comment on the same post, this time calling themselves simply "Optician".  Very mysterious.  Sounds like a villain in a Marvel comic.  One who forcibly corrects your vision then charges you £300 for new glasses.  The evil bastard. 

Nowadays contact lenses are comfortable for longer periods and can be worn all day. Some contact lens can even be slept in, that mean we don't have to worry about taking them out before we go to bed. I think it is important to visit genuine optician regularly.

Clearly they haven't grasped the concept of a blog being updated now and again.  I wonder if they will be commenting on the same post forever. 

I might investigate getting a contact lens that can be slept in.  I bet it would be really comfy, plus I could do the Dita Von Tees champagne glass routine in it. 

I've not encountered the idea that there are "genuine" opticians and "fake" opticians before.  Interesting.  I have never seen a dodgy back-street optician with a card table covered in eye examination cards, his mate keeping a lookout out for the law while he tests your eyes shoddily. 

"Yeah mate, look at this card.  See it?  Yeah?  Ok.  That'll be £300.  Cheers."

If you buy glasses from them, do they fall apart after an hour, the lenses fogging over, the screws pinging into remote corners, the arms tangling in your hair forever? 

Are the contact lenses he supplies really milk bottle tops with a hole poked through the middle? 

I think the BBC should do one of their hard-hitting investigative documentaries on this.   We need to know.


Mrs Jones said...

How fascinating! I went for an eye test last week - my first for 3 years - and I was going to blog about it but couldn't be arsed (as is my wont, these days). It seems I need varifocal lenses and they've stung me £334 for them! I wonder if I did finally get round to doing the blog, I'd also get visited by The Genuine Optician (sounds like a rapper now....)

Spencer said...

Oooooooo! Dr Gravity and The have your own team of super villains stalking you. This must mean you are yet to discover you are in fact a superheroine....a bit like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable. It would explain all the weird things that happen to you.

Isabella Golightly said...

Optician stalker. Hmmm. You'd better keep an eye on that. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....

Sorry. Couldn't help it. What a goose. Him, not me! I'm normal... we're all normal here except for the mad-eye moody character lurking on the edge of the woods.... See you later ha ha ha ha ha ha ....

livesbythewoods said...

Mrs J, I like the idea of The Genuine Optican as a band name. It would have to be a prog rock band, though. We could get Roger Dean to do the album covers.

Spencer, I am negotiating with Warner Brothers for the film rights to my life as we speak. We both know you couldn't make it up.

Isabella, that was dreadful. Well done. Now go and have a cup of tea and little lie-down please.