Friday, 9 October 2009


Today is the day I go back to the doctor and ask for a referral to a shrink. I've seen one before, although last time I had to be more or less ordered to do it, believing as I did then that depression was something that weak-willed people allowed to happen to themselves.

Ha. How very interesting it is to learn about these things first hand.

Anyway, I'm not depressed again. I know how that feels and that is not what is going on. The doctor talked about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when I saw him last, but having no previous experience of that I have no frame of reference. What I do know is that I am still hugely unbalanced* and that it takes very little to set me off on an uncontrolled, prolonged weeping fit. Which is nice.

I am also struggling to get back into my normal work routine. The long, long, oh so long commute now feels like a hideous obstacle whereas before it was an inconvenience that I was dealing with successfully. I have lost a lot of my ability to focus, which is a bit of a shame given the job I am doing, and I am completely exhausted after a day working, to the point where I come in, collapse on the sofa and am usually asleep by 9.30. That is not how I usually am.

Right. Time to go and tell all that to the doctor.

*More than usual, I mean.


Middle Sis said...

Go for it, tell him you need, do not ignore it. Remember we all love you and you can always stay over at our house. That always makes you feel better!

@eloh said...

I've been needing to do the same thing. I do have PTSD, I've had it before so I know what I'll dealing with. I just can't see an end to it this time.

livesbythewoods said...

Middle Sis...done. Thank you my lovely.

Eloh, yes, it is helpful I think. Sorry to hear you are also struggling through a similar affliction, though.