Wednesday, 3 August 2011


It is what is traditionally known as The Silly Season here in the UK.  This means that, partly because Parliament is in recess, partly because most of the serious journos are on holiday, the newspapers are scrabbling around for things to fill their pages.

Today's winner is this.  Apart from the fantastic headline - Paul-Daniels injured in Sooty pizza throwing accident - there are all the mental images it conjures up.  Exactly what was on that pizza that was heavy enough to give him a black eye?  Tinned anchovies?  A whole coconut?  Gravel?

Last week we had this.  It's got all the elements you need for a good story.  Again, a superb headline - Harry Potter dwarf spared jail over jugglers hat sex act - which immediately grabs the attention.  Consider the composite elements of the headline, too:

Sex?  Check.  A dwarf?  Check.  A juggler's hat?  Check.  Harry Potter reference?  Check.   How could you not want to know more?

And, it all happened on a train.  You can just see the made-for-TV-movie, can't you?

Other news:  It's hot.  Damn hot.  Every day that I am able to sit in my garden, in the shade, reading a book, I am grateful for the fact that I am not stuffed into a stinking commuter train, heading for an office where the windows don't open, and if they did would just let in the traffic fumes from Victoria Street.

Yes, still enjoying the whole "not working" thing.

Developments with father in law WithaY are encouraging.  We had a long talk this week with the owner of the nursing home.  She was unaware of many of the issues we have been trying to resolve there over the last 2 years, and has taken personal charge of the situation.  Things will improve, I think. 

I've been scouring the house like a housewife in an Ealing Comedy over the last few days.  Minus the curlers and headscarf, although I think I could rock that look if I tried. 

I was sick and tired of the boxes everywhere, the endless detritus from someone else's house, so I moved a lot of it into the shed.  At least it's out of sight, if not finally dealt with.  I have piled up a heap of stuff in the hall to take to the charity shop in town, and have made executive decisions to throw away some things (a broken telephone, rolls of grubby wrapping paper, cracked crockery) which has made the place feel much better. 

That leaves us with a few boxes in the kitchen, now consolidated in one place, and the ongoing Stygian hellhole that is Mr WithaY's study.  Baby steps.  Baby steps.  We'll get the dumper truck and snowplough in there in time.  One day, maybe one day soon, we'll see the floor again. 

I'm still waiting for the builders to come back and repair the doorstep, which was the reason I called them in the first place.  They fixed the hole in the roof - did a good job too - but obviously then got sidetracked and left the doorstep.  I've phoned a couple of times, but they are "busy on another job" now, so I will have to wait.  Gah. 

Also, the keyword searches which have brought people here in the last few weeks include:

Big jugs porn   - shame on you, filth seekers
Had to pee  - shame on you, different filth seekers
He wore a monocle and looked at me - Hello monocle fans!
Recycling humour - Welcome, eco-conscious comedy seekers
Catholic who lives in the woods - If you're not following that with "firelighters" or "persecution" then hello
Basketry conservation - basket case, possibly

I like the thought that the readership of my blog consists of people looking for sleaze, people who are interested in conservation, and complete mentalists. 

Welcome, one and all.


Z said...

Yup, most of those apply to me.

Smart move by Paul Daniels. That programme will have plenty of viewers, no matter that they are all there to fall about laughing at his expense.

livesbythewoods said...

Z - only "most"? I'm disappointed.