Three beaches

I've been to the seaside.

Several times, and in two different countries. Yes, get me.

The first was a day trip to the Dorset coast, along with Mr WithaY and the dog.  Despite it being autumn, the weather was absolutely gorgeous.  It was so nice that I even braved the water and went for a paddle.

Look at it! It's like July!

Mind you, I lost all feeling in my feet after about 30 seconds in the water. Also, I forgot to take a towel, so had to put my shoes and socks back onto cold wet sandy feet.

The dog had a whale of a time digging in the sand, and running in and out of the sea.  See note about lack of towel, above.

We walked the length of the beach, intending to sit outside the cafe and have fish and chips, but all the local smug newspaper-reading bastards were already there, refusing to move, watching passers-by with narrowed eyes that clearly meant "This small cafetiere of coffee WILL last me for the next hour, so fuck off out of it, you sad wannabe table scrounger.  And your little dog too."  We went home and had tea and buns instead.

The next beach trip was to Brighton, with my lovely sisters.  We stayed in a hotel right on the seafront, and were able to watch possibly the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen from our bedroom window.  Yes, all three of us shared a room. It was hilarious.  And noisy.

We drank cocktails, walked MILES across Brighton, around the shops, through the Pavilion gardens, up hill, down dale, along the seafront and even round an amusement arcade where we won a selection of tat for shoving hundreds of 2-pence pieces into those tipping point machines.

The weather (again) was excellent, dry and warm enough to make a trip on the Brighton Eye fun.

The view from the Eye looking out across the Pier, amusement arcade at the end there.

And the view inland, with the building that housed The Hungry Years heavy rock nightclub taking left-of-centre stage. I loved going to that place when I was young and thin. Well, thinner.  

I know sunset photos are a bit of a cliché, but just LOOK at this. It was just fantastic, all three of us took turns gawping out of the tiny window above my bed to take photos.

The third beach trip was in the South of France.  Mother-in-Law WithaY was 80 in November so as many of the family as possible went over there to help her celebrate.  Mr WithaY and I stayed in a small hotel in a place called Banyuls, where our room overlooked the sea. It was absolutely lovely.  The place has a rather funky modernist feel to it, and the food was truly excellent. 5/5 will visit again.

It was rather like being in a Jeeves and Wooster story, though, what with the sea lapping gently all night, and splendid aperitifs before dinner each evening. Not that I'm complaining, dear me no.

The view from our room.  Lovely.

The giant wine barrel at the top of the hill.  We did buy some local wine, and brought it back very, very carefully in our suitcases.  It all arrived unscathed, as did the pate, chocolates, turron ( nut delicacy not unlike peanut brittle) and black olive tapenade we crammed into our bags.

I discovered that I speak fluent* French!  For the first time in my adult life I had no worries about making myself understood to real proper French people. I told the lady in the supermarket that "nous somme touristes" and she gestured at the shopping in what can only be described as a laconic Gallic manner, and sighed deeply, as if to say "well DUH!"

This new-found fluency has much more to do with confidence and, I suspect, lack of shame, than actual skill,  I got to tell a shopkeeper "Ohh....je suis desolee" when they told me the fuzzy felt slippers I was admiring weren't available in my size.  That's something else crossed off the bucket list.

Note the small metal square on a pole in the bottom right of that photo. It is a conveniently-placed frame through which you can admire a perfect view.  What a great idea.  There were many of them scattered around the place.

This is it up close.

And this is the view, through the frame.  Nice, eh?

As you see, seasonal November weather. For Collioure. So, we ate perfectly-cooked fish by the bucketload, drank the finest wines available to humanity and walked alongside an azure sea in the sunshine. Not a bad way to spend a week.

In the midst of it all, we got to see Mother-in-Law Withay, brother and sister-in-law, niece and various old family friends, so that was good for the soul.  A birthday lunch in the glass-box restaurant at the hotel overlooking the sea was enlivened by a rattling thunderstorm coming in over the mountains, complete with end-of-the-world rain.  You get a lot of weather for your money down there.

Other news:  Still very sad. Trying not to be.




*very basic C-grade O-level French

Tiny tripe

Well hello there.  It's been a while, hasn't it?  I was working on the assumption that everyone would be away on holiday and therefore not notice that I had been slack and idle for the best part of a fortnight.

To be honest, that's not true.  I haven't been slack, and certainly no more idle than usual.  In fact, I have been out and about, gallivanting across the countryside like a frisky gazelle, scampering hither and thither.

Yeah, I have.

Where have I been? Well I'll tell you.

Mr WithaY and I went up to Derbyshire for a weekend.  The Chatsworth Show was on, and we fancied having a look at it.  We drove up to a pleasant B&B on Friday evening, and were advised to try a local pub for dinner. 

If you are ever in the area, go and eat there.  Really.  The food was excellent, the staff were competent and friendly and the prices were not too steep.  In fact, here's their website - The Black Swan.    It was so nice that we went back again the next night and tried their "sharing dish" of rib eye steak and big chips.  Mr WithaY and I enjoy our food* but we still ended up with a small tinfoil package of steak to take home at the end of the meal. 

The B&B was good too.  Note for American readers - a B&B is a Bed and Breakfast establishment, where you stay overnight and they feed you breakfast - usually a huge and sausage-filled extravaganza - but you don't get an evening meal.  B&Bs are less expensive than a hotel, and often more interesting.  Sometimes, though, they are shite. 

This one was lovely, though, and on a farm, our room looked out across one of their trout lakes.  People were fishing, and Mr WithaY sat with his nose pressed forlornly against the window, watching them till we went out. 

There was a degree of grumbling along the lines of  "I knew I should have packed my travel fishing rod," but it soon passed.

The Chatsworth Show was excellent fun.  We missed the Red Arrows, who flew on the Friday for the first time since the crash that killed one of their pilots, but we did see a splendid display of stomach-churning aeronautics by two small stunt planes as we were leaving on Saturday afternoon.

Chatsworth House itself was under wraps, unfortunately, possibly to deter visitors to the show from gawping in through their windows and watching the Duchess sitting there in her curlers eating cheesy Wotsits and watching Jeremy Kyle.

I took a couple of pictures of their impressive wall carvings though:

There were hundreds of different stands and displays there, ranging from the traditional country pursuits of ferret-racing (no photos, I was laughing too much to think of using my camera) and stick-whittling to formal mounted displays of the Household Cavalry, with a fairground and lots of small trade stands in between.  There were people doing clever fishing demonstrations, shooting stands where you could Have A Go, and more delicious food vendors than you could shake a stick at.

As is traditional, Mr WithaY and I Had A Go at as many of the shooting stands as possible.  It got competitive. 

I am officially Rubbish With An Air Rifle.  Mr WithaY was hoping to win an air rifle on the strength of that result, but as yet has not had a phone call telling him to go and collect his prize. 

However, the .22 rifle was more successful.  Mine:

Mr WithaY's:

And yes, that is the noticeboard I made. We have our targets displayed in the kitchen. 

We watched some lurcher racing.  It;s like greyhound racing but a bit less organised.  The dogs have to run at high speed through a field, after a fake rabbit on a bit of string that is being dragged along at even higher speed.  Blimey, they can move.

To such an extent that there are warning signs posted.  They'll BREAK YOUR BONES, so stand back.  I wonder how? Perhaps they use cudgels, although I'd have thought gripping a big twatting stick between small lurcher paws might be tricky. 

There were many different craft tents, some crammed to the gills with talented people, others less so, some just brilliantly demented.  We found these chaps in a far corner of the showground. 

They had a whole marquee full of teeny little model carts and things, all made to accurate scale.  My favourite was the butchers shop on wheels.  It had dolls-house size meat, including little teeny pigs trotters. 

You get a sense of the scale of it by comparing it to the proud creator sitting behind the table there.  He was delighted that I was taking pictures, even moving the butchers shop around this way and that so I could capture the interior properly.

Look at the tiny pigs feet!  And black puddings!  And tripe!  I was entranced.

I spotted this giant letter "R" made from trees on the opposite hillside.  No idea what it is, or why it's there.  Anyone who has any answers, please feel free to comment. 

Oh, this is me firing a 2-bore muzzle-loaded gun.  The recoil was hefty, hence the rather appalling firing stance I have there.  You could have a go with four different types of muzzle-loader, shooting at clay pigeons.  I am proud to announce that I managed to shatter a clay with a flintlock musket.  Yay me.

We also popped in to see my genius clock-making mate, and selected two of the types of wood he is going to use to make our clock.  That was interesting, and I am looking forward to hearing how it's progressing.

Where else have I been?  Oh yes.  Ragdale Hall.

I went on another - ANOTHER! - short break to the home of all that is relaxing and beautifying, along with both sisters, mother and auntie.  We had a blast, I have not laughed so much in a very long time.  I had a reflexology treatment, a full body massage, a facial and a pedicure, and loved every minute.  We all went swimming in the fabulous pools, sat in the various steam rooms and saunas, chilled out in the comfy chairs that are artfully scattered around the place, and talked and talked and TALKED.  So much to say to each other. 

Normally when we all get together there are hordes of children and husbands and partners milling around, getting in the way and preventing two-hour conversations about nothing. 

Middle Sis and Youngest Sis and I shared a triple room.  It was like the Three Bears house.  Three beds in a row in the room.  Three robes hanging in a row in the cupboard.  Three coffee mugs in a row by the kettle. Only one toilet in the bathroom, though.  I had half expected to see three of those in a row in there too.

Other news:  I have been harvesting crab apples from the tree in the garden, and making crab apple jelly. The first batch has turned out remarkably well.

I'd post a photo if Blogger would let me.  Maybe later.








*are fat greedy bastards.

Animal House

This weekend has been lovely.

The weather has been fantastic, and as a result my mood has improved significantly. We had a houseful here. We had a belated birthday party for my lovely Mum, who was very poorly indeed when it was the actual Big Day; we decided to have a celebration now, when she was actually able to enjoy it.

It was fantastic. Both sisters were here with their respective families - we had eight children (yes, Eldest Nephew, I know you are 18, but in my head you're still a child) and six adults. Good job it was sunny, or it would have been an incredible squash in the house.

Mr WithaY had a prior work commitment* but was able to come home this morning in time to say hello to everyone before they headed home.

We had a barbecue, with Bro-in-Law manning the cooking station, assisted by various children. We had lots of lovely celebratory fizz, and a truly beautiful birthday cake that Middle Sis managed to smuggle down from London in one piece. We had lights in the trees and lanterns all over the garden so when it got dark it looked lovely. We had a tent in the back garden for several of the children to sleep in (thank goodness for the fine weather!) so there was much excitement about who was sleeping where and who was getting what bedding.

Youngest Sis managed to acquire a huge fat lip, which made her look like one of those minor celebrities who have disastrous collagen injections. We're not entirely sure what caused it, but an allergic reaction to the jalapeno burgers seems to be the likeliest candidate. And she brought those, so I don't need to feel guilty.

Charlie the dog was the star of the show, running madly between all the children, hovering hopefully whenever anyone was eating** and barking at next door's dogs when it was all getting too quiet for his liking. He also did a good deal of that cute Jack Russell "jumping really high and then dancing on his back legs" thing.

Marvellous stuff.

I spent the night in my little study here, initially on Mr WithaY's foldaway camp bed. He had taken a hammock and a tarpaulin to make a sleeping shelter in the woods. The bed was considered an unimaginable luxury I think.

Anyhoo, I set it all up, and then carefully climbed in. I am, I have decided, far too wide to sleep in a foldaway camp bed. There seemed to be knobs and spines and bars and bolts sticking into every part of me as I lay there, and the bed made alarming groaning noises when I shifted position.

It brought to mind one of those disaster movies where you know a suspension bridge is going to collapse, and you keep seeing a shot of high tension cables parting under stress, strand by strand.

I lost my nerve after 20 minutes, folded the bed back up and made a little nest of blankets and sofa throws on the floor and slept there instead.

This morning we sat in the garden and drank coffee, whilst everyone found their respective sleeping bags/socks/hairbrushes/dog toys/PlayStations/iPods/car keys etcetera, before eating the World's Largest Chilli con Carne. And barbecue leftovers. Nom nom nom.

Mr WithaY and I stood on the drive waved off the family, a tender moment only slightly marred by Mr WithaY jumping up and down waving his arms in the air like Flounder in the closing credits of Animal House.

And now I am going to have a shower, put my pyjamas on and chill out till bedtime. When I will sleep in a bed. Hurrah.



Oh - I understand that there is some discussion around the appropriateness of the use of marker pen and cocktail sticks in Mr WithaY's Village Fete entry. I would just like to state for the record that no marker pen whatsoever was used in the creation of March Of The Penguins.

That is all.



*Doing survivalist woodcraft type stuff out of doors. In the woods. I hope he gets lots of time off in lieu as it took up his entire weekend.

**ie almost all the time

Meme! Hurrah!

As instructed by the bleach-festooned Emma at Belgian Waffle, a meme:

1. Are you a male or female: Female. A big one. So watch it.

2. Describe yourself: Tall, dark, too clever by half (in my head, anyway). Good teeth. Crap creaky twingy back. Fat arse. Over-use of foul language. Idle timewaster given half a chance.

Good singer, reasonable rhythm guitarist in the right light and if the song doesn't have too many barre chords and/or B flats (yes I am looking at you, Bryan Adams, you bastard.)

3. How do you feel about yourself: Generally fairly cheerful about myself, although deep and crashing spells of the blues have been known, sometimes even developing into full-blown depression. I had to go and see a counsellor and everything. So proud.

Usually pretty ok about physical appearance, but often fail the shop window test and recoil in shrieking horror at the glowering gorgon looking back at me. Have also done the "Ooh look at that grumpy fat middle-aged woman....oh lordy that's a mirror" thing when getting into lifts.

4. Describe your parents: Lovely lovely Mum. Tall (but not as tall as me, heh), cheerful, clever, funny, the kindest person I have ever met, an example to us all in terms of fortitude, hard work, good nature and quiet unstinting love and support. Love you Mum.

Dad was also tall (and significantly taller than me), funny, kind, honest and loved us all to bits. Died at the horribly young age of 36. I still miss him very much, and wish I had had the chance to get to know him properly.

Needed to stop typing for a bit there. Damn.


5. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriends: Lord, where to start. Or indeed stop.

Suffice to say there have been a lot, some gorgeous and lovely, some freakish and oiky, some intelligent, some thick as two short planks, most with motorbikes/long hair/leather jackets/rock star aspirations/other appealing features I am not prepared to detail on a blog read by my family.


6. Describe your current boy/girl situation: Happily married to the delightful Mr WithaY for the last 15 years, been together since 1987...more than half my life now. Gawd I'm old. He still makes me laugh (and not always whilst pointing).

I love him dearly. Life would be a much emptier, darker place without him.

7. Describe your current location: In my "study", surrounded by guitars, heavy metal cds, computers and bits of paper with song chords scribbled on them. Looking out of the window at the gathering dusk, watching huge trucks judder past the end of the road, making the entire house shake. Bastards.

8. Describe where you want to be: Gosh. I love being here, to be honest. Is that sad? However, would also like to be:

walking in the sand on Nauset Beach, Cape Cod,
in a posh hotel in a big city, living on room service,
in a cafe in Amsterdam, with some apple pie
on a canal boat in rural England, heading for a great pub
visiting friends somewhere sunny and not far from the beach
Shell Bay, Dorset
the Weald and Downland Open Air Museum at Singleton on a sunny late May afternoon

9. Your best friend(s) is/are: Mr WithaY. Without a doubt the best friend ever. Plus he cooks fantastic food. Result.

Also Bestest Mate, who I don't see as often as I'd like but who keeps my heart lifted with his enigmatic (and usually grumpy) text messages.

Mum and sisters, despite also being family are all people I would choose as friends.

10. Your favourite colour is: Purple. Or green. Or blue.

It depends.

I have a fab ring I bought for myself made up of about 25 different coloured sapphires, and the best thing about it is that I can twist it around to enjoy pretty much any colour I want to.

Ideal for someone who wears mostly black and grey, and likes to look at sparkly stuff whilst in meetings.


11. You know that: was not a good idea. Now pick up the pieces and don't try it again, you fool.

12. If your life was a television show what would it be called: "Hey! That's My Cupcake!" It would be a crime drama. With cakes. And banjo music chase sequences.

13. What is life to you: An opportunity to show off, eat cakes and laugh at my own jokes.

14. What is the best advice you have to give: Don't harbour regret, life is too short. Get on and do it. And if it all goes horribly wrong, learn from it.

Fish

It's snowing again! Blimey. Drove home this afternoon from bestest mate's house through some amazing special effects wrath of God hail and rain, and now it's snowing.


Saw my lovely Mum a couple of times over the weekend, she seems to be making good progress and was in much improved spirits, which was great to see. The care she has been getting is (mostly) excellent, the less than excellent stuff has been duly reported and dealt with by the rest of the hospital staff.

Went out for dinner on Saturday night with bestest mate after calling in at the hospital and had a HUGE bowl of Pasta With Stuff at Prezzo's. Was very nice, but far too much, so had to leave quite a lot, which I hate doing. Which is why I have such a fat arse, of course.

Saw Middle Sis and Youngest Sis, and resepctive families, which was nice too. Everyone was feeling much happier, as things are improving so much. Youngest Sis's little dog was very entertaining too, frolicking about and being an idiot.

Mr WithaY is still away, having decided not to come home for the weekend, as it would be a ridiculously long round trip. I think he is home on Friday next week. No idea, though, what time. And given my track record, it might well be that he gets home on Saturday, or Thursday night, or a week on Wednesday. So I am feeling a bit lonely and sad.

He managed to ring me one night last week to tell me how it was all going. Apart from having to get into a river, which was "bloody freezing" and falling off a log, or down a hole, out of a tree or something, and bruising himself considerably, it's going terribly well, apparently. So that's good to know.

Had a bit of a hissy fit earler when I went to cook some supper and couldn't light the oven. Cursed and swore, then remembered Middle Sis telling me that her new cooker (v similar to mine) had the same problem until the clock on it was set correctly. Ahahahahahaaaaaaaaa. We had a power cut the other night, didn't we? And I hadn't set the oven clock since that happened. So, I pressed buttons on the cooker at random till the clock numbers changed, then managed to light it. Hurrah.

Half an hour later, hot fish galore. Mmmmmmmmm.

And, assuming we don't get a foot of snow overnight, up to London tomorrow for another week of big city frolicks.

Hairy moments

Well, an interesting turn of events this evening. Just in case we were starting to feel too relaxed, we were involved in a car crash.

Not our fault, in case you were wondering.

Middle Sis and I were heading off to the hospital to see our lovely Mum (now out of intensive care and on the mend, thankfully), and as we drove along the street, a complete twat came tanking out of a side street, completely failed to stop at the junction, and smashed into the back of Middle Sis's car.

The impact pushed our car into the verge, where we sat looking at each other in shock for a moment, then we leapt out of the car like the A-team on a mission, and confronted the perpetrator.

Boy did he look scared. And with some justification. Two large, furious, already unbelievably stressed women were about to make his worst nightmares come true.

However, his abject and heartfelt apologies, his immediate acceptance of responsiblity and the rapid production of his insurance documents meant we didn't pound him into an oily smear on the pavement.

Middle Sis's car is badly dented, but drivable, and no lights were broken.

His car was much more badly damaged. Ha. Fuckwit.

The reason for his appalling lack of concentration? A fucking satnav. He was blaming his satnav as he leapt out of his car, whereupon Middle Sis delivered an eloquent, pithy and frankly scary lecture on the inappropriateness of trying to program your fucking satnav whilst driving along the road.

So. A little bit of additional stress to make our day swing merrily along. Gah.

Other news: I decided to go and get my hair cut, as I was feeling scabby and dull, and made a spur of the moment appointment at Toni and Guy's, a hair saloon* I have never visited before.

They have vibrating back massaging chairs which you lie full length on when you get your hair washed. That was worth the money alone. And I got the undivided attention of their head artistic director (I think that's what they said he was) who teased, tousled, snipped and primped my hair till I looked fab.

We shall see how long the glamour lasts, but so far I am very pleased with it.


*I love the idea of a load of cowboys sitting under driers having their roots done.

Progress and plans

Things are improving. I am much relieved. Not entirely coincidentally, my back is on the mend, although I still walk like Igor, making distressed gorilla noises.

I can't get my work laptop to connect up, so am going to take this week as leave. My personal laptop is ok, though, so I can hook up to do stuff like this, and check my email, and look at the BBC website. All most useful.

Middle Sister has come back down, so we are planning to do some more work in Mum's garden tomorrow if it's a nice day. Assuming I can actually bend over and stand up again. It might even get me in the mood to sort out my own garden when I get home.

I am desperate to get the patio replaced. I need to redesign the garden layout, bearing in mind we have several immoveable objects (oil tank, gas cylinders, septic tank, sheds) that we will have to work around, and then find the money to get it done.

I want to have a new drive, rear patio, front patio and raised beds in the back garden with places to sit and have a glass of wine if we ever get another decent summer. All the hard standing around the house is shot to bits, and it's not worth trying to fix it. It all needs to be ripped up, the groundwork sorted out, and then everything replaced. I quite fancy a mixture of stone, gravel and cobblestones. But we will see what fits and how much it all costs.

Plus we need to comply with the new regulations on groundwater and drainage, so we don't flood the entire west of England whenever it rains. So. Plans for the summer.

I also want to plant some fruit bushes, raspberries and redcurrants, maybe some gooseberries. However, in reality I will probably just spend the summer watching the rain and wondering where the mole will make his next appearance.

Mr WithaY has taken to addressing the mole as if they are both World War One fighter pilots. "So, Mr Mole, the day is yours. This time. We shall meet again, my brave adversary."

If it wasn't so funny it would alarm me.

Update

Have been down in Sussex for a few days, where my lovely Mum is seriously ill in hospital. Not going to go into detail, but we are all very worried indeed.
Middle and Youngest Sis have been (and continue to be) incredible, while all the nieces and nephews are doing everything they can to help out. Mr WithaY, Bro-in-Law and Bloke-in-Law are towers of strength.

Thankfully so far we've only had any two out of the three of us in floods of uncontrollable tears at once, leaving the third to pat supportively and make cups of tea.

I came home this evening and am heading back down to Sussex again for a few days on Monday morning. Work are being great, and I will try to arrange some even-more-flexible working once I know what the slightly longer-term situation looks like. I'm going to take my work laptop with me so I can at least try to keep on top of emails and stuff if possible. To be honest, though, it's rather hard to focus on work right now.

Thanks for the kind thoughts, they are much appreciated.

Hopefully, normal service will resume before too much longer.

Other news: Fucking idiot women drivers on roundabouts. TWICE on the way home tonight I had to brake sharply on roundabouts (where I had right of way) to prevent potentially tragic t-bone stylee accidents when fucking halfwit women pulled out in front of me. I was in no mood to smile sympathetically and wave them through with a smile. They got glared, gesticulated and sworn at. Fuckwits.

Anxious

Work is going ok. The weather has improved. We have several crocuses on the lawn.

That is all.

Mmmmmmmmmpork

Had a very pleasant weekend, with a mate visiting for a few days. So we did a lot of touristy stuff, including having afternoon tea at the Red Lion in Salisbury. Well, it was pissing down with rain, and we were hungry.

We also bought our own weight in pork products from the butcher in Fish Row, which I cooked over the next couple of days, culminating in a traditional Sunday roast. It was all very civilised.

Today I have mostly been doing domestic stuff and eating leftover roast pork.

Back to work tomorrow, which I am looking forward to. Especially as I am staying at Middle Sis' house, which will be great.

And Mr WithaY comes home next weekend, all being well. Yay.

So. Not much news. Sorry.

Discoveries

This week I have mostly been learning about transport around London. I found out how to check how much credit is on my Oyster card*, how to get a seat on the Tube**, and how to get to the front of the queue on the escalator***.

It's been a week of making learning fun.

I stayed at Middle Sis's house on Monday night, which was nice, although I was so knackered that I went to bed before the children did. How sad and old am I, eh?

Due to my stupid initial "being flexible" approach, I have to go into the office on Wednesday (ie tomorrow), making it 3 days in a row in town. Gah. Still, I have now blanked out Wednesdays and Fridays on my calendar and told people I am not in London on those days. I will probably end up having a reputation as an awkward old bag, but hey, I'll get to do my 2 days a week working at home, which was one of the provisos of me taking the job in the first place.

Other news: Went to see my gorgeous guitar teacher's band at the weekend, which was entertaining. On Saturday I went with Bestest Mate to Shaftesbury where we wandered about admiring the surreal shop window displays.

My favourite was the one which had two mannequins with hilariously poor Beatles wigs and guitars, and a series of round flat black plates (I think) with home-made labels on them saying things like "Penny Lane", (had a penny taped to the label), "Love Me Do" (had a load of glittery hearts scattered around) and various others, all in slightly different fonts and layouts. It was like an episode of Father Ted.

Somebody wants to win a prize.

Also, my mate Andy was here this evening for a flying visit, and brought his guitar, so we had a bit of a jam together. Was marvellous. He is really good, and can sing so we did a few songs together that sounded really nice. Unfortunately I am still coughing too much to sing decently, but it was nice to see him and have a go.

Had a message on the answerphone from Mr WithaY in Mexico. He sounds well, and it was lovely to hear his voice. I am pining a bit, it has to be said. What a sap I am.

Right. It's after 10...I need to go to bed or I won't be able to leap out of bed at 0600 with a song in my heart and a smile on my lips. Gah.



*the internet, obviously
**Cough and glare like a madwoman
***shove and barge, and cough as if you are dying of TB

Debut

I did it. Last night I played a song on my guitar in public, with a proper band. And it was bloody excellent fun.

I didn't forget where I had to come in at the beginning, or where I had to shut up in the middle 8, or when I had to start up again for the big finish. I got all the chords right. I even managed to sing along and remember all the words.

Maybe if I get to do it again I'll have a mic as well as an amp.

The event they were playing at was in the local pub, in aid of Help for Heroes and the NABD , and apparently raised over £300.

My Youngest Sis, her boyfriend and my Eldest Niece were all there too which was lovely. Apparently (and she'll kill me for this), Youngest Sis got all teary-eyed and emotional.

I assume with pride, rather than at my playing.

We had a fantastic success rate on the raffle there too. I am now the proud owner of a funky new crash helmet*, and Mr WithaY has been given a splendid new bike jacket which Youngest Sis won. Not bad for 4 quid's worth of raffle tickets.

I actually won two prizes but decide to keep quiet and not go up to claim the second one as I already had what I thought was the top prize.

I am so going straight to Heaven.

There were some right scary looking "too cool for school" biker types there, which was entertaining. There was also a good sprinkling of mates from the village, so it felt like a friendly crowd all night.

I think the cider might have helped me with my "everyone is lovely and friendly" outlook, in retrospect.

Anyway, Eldest Niece is here to stay for the week, we are going to take a few day trips out and about. Planning to go to Bath tomorrow, so I am hoping it stops raining, or we'll have to spend the whole day in shops. Nightmare.

I think we might be buying some hair straighteners.

I have never straightened my hair, so if it looks especially fantastic I might take a picture. Also, if I set it alight and have to have my head shaved, I will let you know.



*Now I have to get another bike, really.

Swordfish

Blimey it's hot.

It's been a real up and down week at work, and a blazing hot weekend. I am exhausted.

Work stuff has actually been rather encouraging. Had to go and brief a Very Senior Person Indeed on Thursday, which went quite well. Amusingly, he had to step out for 10 minutes to receive some exalted guests from overseas, and came back into the meeting wearing a rather jaunty scarf they gave him as a present.

The upshot of our meeting was that he agrees that my team is woefully understaffed, and we need help. So fingers crossed there for some more people to help out.

I met my new boss on Friday, who is lovely, so that was another high point. But best of all, I found out that I have been awarded a TOP BONUS this year. Yay me.

The pay system we have is complicated by the bonus system, which I won't bore you all with, but it turns out that this time I am one of the winners. So, I am trying not to think too hard about all the crap things about the system, and focus on the fact that I will get some extra cash at some point. When they sort out our pay. Which might be months away yet.

Other news: It's been a very hot few days. Weatherwise I mean. We had my Middle Sis and family here for the weekend and even managed to have a barbecue. Outdoors and everything, we even ate in the garden for (I think) the first time this summer.

We have eaten like kings all weekend, which has been fab.

Also. Took the family over to visit our mates in the village to admire their chickens. Most endearing*.

We seem to have spent the entire weekend sitting in the garden, which has been very relaxing indeed. Middle Sis and I even did some gardening on Saturday afternoon. We have cut the hedge at the end of the back garden in a swathe, because our extension cord doesn't reach all the way. Now it looks like someone has taken a bite out of it.

Went into Salisbury on Saturday and bought some strap locks for my guitar, then spent an entertaining 30 minutes today trying to fit them, based on what the bloke in the music shop had told me. He was talking bollocks, it turned out, and the whole process was in fact very simple indeed.

Hopefully when I play in public next weekend, at least I won't have to contend with my guitar crashing to the floor.

Middle Sis told me a brilliant joke:

Q: What is the name for a fear of passwords?

A: Friendorphobia

*The chickens, I mean. We already thought highly of our mates.

Snow

Yes indeed.

It's been snowing like you wouldn't believe, here. Not for very long, and not so that it stuck, but still. Impressive blizzard thing going on this morning as we sat devouring our Easter boiled eggs and bagels. Mmmm. Bagels.

Had Middle Sis and her family here for a few days, which was very pleasant. We went into Salisbury yesterday to get a bit of shopping; the children had pocket money burning holes in their pockets, and Bro-in-Law was on a quest for new shoes. I was after some iron cleaner, Middle Sis needed ant traps.

If you had told us when we were 18-year-old rock goddesses that we would get mildly excited about going to Lakeland to buy ant traps and iron cleaner, we would have mocked and derided you. Or possibly shot ourselves.

Strange how things turn out.

Middle Sis amused herself whilst in Lakeland by giving her children various hilarious items to "give to Auntie Lucy", including large jars of Wrinkle Remover. Ha bloody ha.

It was bloody freezing walking round town, so we all scooted into a very nice pizza place* for lunch, then fled back to the car, stopping to stock up on lovely greetings cards and Faberge stylee eggs at the Museum Shop, which I had never been into before.

One of the nice things about not living in town any more is that there are always new shops to look at, especially as I only get into Salibury about once every 6 weeks these days.

We made a rather fab (though I say so myself) Indian meal for supper last night. Tandoori chicken, a great beef curry, samosas, onion bhajis, naan bread, rice and all kinds of pickles. And, a first for me, an Indian baked yoghurt pudding, which worked really well and which I will be making again.

Then we all settled in front of the fire and watched Stardust on DVD, which was lovely. Most relaxing.

Bro-in-Law and Mr WithaY dragged the chidren out of the cosy warm house at knifepoint this morning for a brisk** walk around Heaven's Gate. They came back bitterly disappointed that they hadn't seen any rhinos. There were camels and "cows with very long horns" but I could tell it wasn't really the same.

One huge roast chicken lunch later, they headed back to London. The house feels really big and really, really quiet now.

Excellent.


*Prezzo, where Beech's bookshop used to be.

**They were told they'd enjoy it when they got there. Heh.

Lions and Tigers and Bears

Oh my!

Join in.

I was looking at the BBC website today and an article about a huge feral cat problem in Newport caught my eye.

As in, lots of feral cats, not one HUGE feral cat, terrorising the neighbourhood like a scabby, furball-producing Godzilla. Although I do like that idea.

Anyway.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_east/7197604.stm

I'll do the link properly later. If I can be arsed.

So, very sad story, loss of many jobs, closure of the industry, sad hungry cats, security guard forking out huge amounts of cash on cat food because all the little animals were used to being fed by the staff there, etcetera.

The bit that made me snort tea out of my nose was this:

"Just a skeleton staff remains and Gwent Cats Protection have stepped in to help them care for the cats."

Heh.

Other news. Went to see my Mum and Youngest Sis and family on Saturday. Was very nice. Mum is planning on getting a laptop so she can hook up to the interweb* and see what all the fuss is about. We went to PC World (other PC retailers are available) to look at the options. Blimey it's complicated.

Was able to provide advice in a small way, which was good. And we got chatted to by a kind old chap who told us how fantastic he thinks webcams are. I really, really hope he uses them to keep in touch with his apple-cheeked grandchildren, rather than any other nefarious purpose**.

I was also allowed to open my birthday present early. Apparently Youngest Sis and family decided there was a gap in my life, only fillable by a large, soft, white bear. He's lovely. I made sure he wore his seat belt on the journey home.

Pictures to follow.

*If she finds my blog and then tells me off for swearing I might be grounded. So if I vanish for a week at a time, that's why.

**You know what I mean.

Holiday cheer

Well, how was your Christmas Day? Mine was very pleasant.

Mr WithaY scooted down to Dorset to pick up his Dad, who spent the day here with us, we spoke to all the various parents, siblings and mates over the course of the day, and ate a huge and tremendous roast beef lunch.

I made my famous Christmas Sausage Rolls* which we had with coffee for brunch.

We watched Casino Royale on dvd (we don't have Sky) which Mr WithaY's dad paid grave attention to all the way through, and at the end announced "Well, I couldn't make head nor tail of that."

Great.

For the first time in many, many weeks I actually feel properly relaxed and laid back. I'd forgotten how nice it is to just sit and watch tv for ages, eating satsumas and drinking cups of tea from time to time.

So that's my plan for today as well.

We've had a fantastically sociable time of it over the last few weeks, mostly thanks to our lovely neighbours, so a few days peacefully spent at home together is just the ticket.

I had some wonderful presents, including a techno photo frame from Mr WithaY. I am going to play with it** later. You can plug it into a data stick or a card thingy from a camera and it displays your digital photos. I love that idea.

I feel so relaxed I might even do some dressmaking over the next few days. I have tons of gorgeous fabric and a stack of patterns. I feel a creative surge coming upon me.


*Like normal sausage rolls but I only make them at Christmas.

**The frame, not Mr WithaY. Although, it is Christmas...

Tagged! So excited!

Heh, I feel special now. Right, this is the iPod shuffle tag....here goes.

1) If someone says, "Is this okay?", you say: "The Right Thing" MacAlmont and Butler. Awww, that is rather sweet.

2) What would best describe your personality? "Prickly Thorn (but sweetly worn)" The White Stripes. Ouch. Yep, I can see some heads nodding at the back there.

3) What do you like in a guy/girl? "King of Emotion" Big Country. Um, no, no drama queens ta.

4) How do you feel today? "Lay Low" Alisha's Attic. Kinda apt. Heh.

5) What is your life's purpose? "No Surprises" Radiohead. God, I am such a Civil Servant. Dull, dull, dull.

6) What is your motto? "Black Night" Deep Purple. Does the fact that it's live make a difference? Just a teeny bit confused by this.

7) What do your friends think of you? "Closing Time" Semisonic. Perfect. One of my favourite songs to play and sing, and most of my mates have had to listen to me perform it at least once. Hurrah.

8) What do you think of your parents? "What I always Wanted" Kittie. Hm, interesting. Well, my Mum is completely fab, and I couldn't ask for a better one. And yes, I think I would have liked to have got to know my Dad. In fact, the thing I wished for a lot as a child was "I wish Dad would get better". So yeah. Apt.

9) What do you think about very often? "Icky Thump" The White Stripes. Your guess is as good as mine. Mental.

10) What is 2 + 2? "Motivation" Sum41. Hmm, am I totally financially motivated? Or just driven by the memory of being shit at maths at school? Lack of focus? Inability to add up? Who knows? Ooh! A squirrel!

11) What do you think of your best friend? "Transylvania" Iron Maiden. Heh, brilliant. Hello bestest mate.

12) What do you think of the person you like? "Shot by Both Sides" Magazine. Oh lordy. Yes, we have shot each other more than once. This is a bit scary now.

13) What is your life story? "Look Away" Big Country. Yep, lack of attention at key points, gawping into space, missing stuff....sounds like my life right enough.

14) What do you want to be when you grow up? "Laugh Out Loud" Robert Cray Band. Excellent. I wanted to be a writer. Or a journalist. But a comedy personage would do nicely, ta.

15) What do you think when you see the person you like? "Letterbomb" Green Day. Now, is this because they are potentially a deranged terrorist? Or maybe I am? Or perhaps its just too close to Christmas. All that extra post.

16) What do your parents think of you? "Desire" U2. Awwww. I know my Mum loves me. More than my sisters. (Hello sisters. Get your own blogs if you wish to argue. Heh.)

17) What will you dance to at your wedding? "I've Been Thinking About You" Londonbeat. What a great song. And yes, I suppose we were thinking about each other a lot on our wedding day. No dancing though...too extravagent and heathen by far.

18) What will they play at your funeral? "Nine Hundred Miles" Show of Hands. Wow. A superb blues-y track. And another one I like to sing. Perfect.

19) What is your hobby/interest? "Been Caught Stealing" Jane's Addiction. Hm. Well, I am not a professional thief, I suppose.

20) What is your biggest secret? "Deaf Forever" Motorhead. This made me laugh out loud. Explains my cloth-eared guitar playing, at least.

21) What do you think of your friends? "It's OK" Fine Young Cannibals. No, better than just ok, surely?

22) What should you post this as? "Good Thing" Fine Young Cannibals again. Not sure what this question actually means, but the answer works.

Grumpy. Well, a bit.

Have been feeling a bit low and grumpy. Might be because I am tired after the weekend, which was lovely by the way. Having the Middle Sis and family to stay was great. Children were entertaining, Sis and bro-in-law were on good form, we ate and drank and talked bollocks. All good.

Maybe it's the aftermath of the last month or so of hectic stuff - overseas guests, Kevin the Decorator, new carpets, work going ballistic - but I felt like I just wanted to go to sleep and stay that way indefinitely yesterday. Resorted to having a little weep mid-afternoon and was more or less ok afterwards. I was working at home so could make a cup of tea and sniffle pathetically in private for a few minutes.

How pathetic. Me a grown woman.

Mr WithaY was up at 6 today to get the train to London for a meeting. Gah. I hate early starts.

On the plus side, we're off out for a Chinese with some of our lovely neighbours to help one of them celebrate her birthday. Mmmmm. Chinese. That'll be two in a week, as we had a monster fatboy takeaway on Saturday night as well.

Mmmmm. Fattening.

Other news: Have been conducting interviews at work all this morning for my new team, which was interesting. It's been years since I was on the scary side of an interview. And more to come on Thursday. Hurrah.

Was reminded about something that happened at the firework and local radio gala we were at the other weekend. There was loud funky music blaring out from the fairground rides, and as it was chilly I started jigging about a bit. Mr WithaY stood perfectly still, patiently waiting for the fireworks.

Me: Come on, have a little dance!

Mr W: I am dancing.

(A few moments pass, I keep jigging)

Me: Awww, come on, dance a bit.

Mr W: I am.

Me: You are not!

Mr W: My aura is dancing.

Excellent.

Arse

I phoned my lovely Mum earlier as it's been too long since I last spoke to her. She's not too well, which is a worry, and sounded very low which is not like her. We cheered each other up though, which is what Mums and eldest (and favourite*) daughters are for.

It doesn't help that she's worried sick about my (soon to be ex) brother-in-law's increasingly unpleasant behaviour.

Aah, families.

I used to have horrible dreams years ago when Middle Sis was in the police in Brighton. She was attacked a few times in the course of her duties; I can still remember the sick feeling I got whenever Brighton was on the news....what's happened? Is she involved? Is she alright?

Anyway. After one of these attacks, I began having a recurring dream where I would go to the house of the man who attacked her (not that I ever knew who it was), and shoot him in the belly with a 12-bore, much in the stylee of Val Kilmer's Doc Holliday, walking away and leaving him dying in the doorway.

He always wore a grubby vest. No idea why.

The bloke, not Val Kilmer.

In my defence, I would then drive to Brighton nick and hand myself and the gun in. Law-abiding, even in sleep.

Well, apart from murdering people.

This was almost 20 years ago and I still remember the dream. It's scary when you realise how much goes on in your head when you're asleep.

On a more cheerful note, I have emailed my presentation to my boss. Hopefully he'll be pleased.

*in my head